Fourth Notes from India
February, 2006
I wrote you last from
Auroville, Tamil Nadu. From there I took the bus for 5 hours to Kanchepuram. I
did not go there for the famous silks or the famous temples but to visit my
friends who have been teaching Wenlido (in a team of 3) for the last 2 years to
mostly under privileged village womyn and girls.
They also head a grass root
social justice network, Makal Manram (translates into People’s forum, I have
mentioned them in former years). They have freed bonded labourers (by legal
means), they organize protests, they hold ‘people’s courts’ (community social
justice system) and help many thru the judicial process as well. They have some
2000 members.
I see people come day and night
with their issues, and M. will sit with them and make immediate plans for
support. I saw pictures of a protest they organized last month with some 2000
people in front of the hospital. A woman (friend and social activist) was burnt
by her husband (also a social activist…?) She died after 4 days with 65 % of
her body burnt. Then the body was caught up for days in the morgue (which had
no cooling system) because of legal procedures. Her 11 year old daughter in the
panic of seeing her mom on fire, hugged her and she got burned herself. She is
still alive. I cried when seeing Poony on film talking from her hospital bed
with her daughter lying in a bed next to her. Then the pictures of her, wrapped
in white cloth with just her pink, burned, charred face showing and the womyn
wailing next to her … on her funeral day … such suffering ….
My two days with the
commune (Makal Manram) were fully packed. Reconnecting with everyone (I know
many from last time) catching up on news. There are several men, two couples
and two new babies.
Jan 14 was Pongal, the big
village festival in Tamil Nadu (it is the kite flying holiday in
Everyone stands around us,
waving us off as we go on the bikes heading to our next destination. We come
thru villages that made me feel like being in another world, with gorgeous mud
houses with thatched roofs and such beautiful ‘kolams’ (symmetrical mandala
type paintings made of colored rice flour) in front of each house. There were
special ones for this special holiday. We stop inside one village where we sit
outside on the matt and are offered ‘pongal’, the dish of the day. The
consistency reminds me of cream of wheat, with nice spices in it. I admired
their washed cows with freshly painted horns. They were being prepared for the
village’s ‘race of the cows’ which is the peak of the Pongal festival. They are
lovely people, being very happy and honoured to welcome M. and her friends.
From here we go to a guava
plantation that this group of people is working for the season. We sit under
the trees with a group of men (members of Makal Manram) who tell M. some
conflicts they are having in their village. This time around a young girl (she
joins us) whose parents died in a car accident. Her aunt and uncle (very poor)
have taken her in, but her brother wants her, probably to sell into sex trade.
She is scared and determined not to go. What to do?
On our arrival home at the
commune, M. was eagerly awaited by an older couple in distress. The women was
crying and falling to M.’s feet. They calmed her and then the man explained how
his neighbour girl (newlyweds) was raped by a 13 year old boy in the village.
The old man had gone over to the boy and scolded him with a slap. Later on the
boy had come back with a gang and beat the couple, threatening them that they’d
be back with knives to kill them. M. ordered two of the men in the commune to
go talk to the boy and let them know that the ‘people’s forum’ was on their
case.
As I watch onto this scene
I am in awe. J. (engineer who gave her career up to support M. 8 years ago)
sitting quietly in the background, taking it all in, as always with her quiet
comments. M. is a charismatic 34 year old, very tiny, dark woman with sparkling
eyes. She has little education, lots of compassion in her heart, fire on her
tongue, soft and cuddly in our womyn’s circle and hard as steel when it comes
to moving onto injustice. Men, womyn of all ages flock to her for counsel, and
practical support, and many others are at her finger tips to do and implement
whatever she asks them to, trusting her completely. I can only imagine the love
and support she received when she suffered of breast cancer last year (she had
a mastectomy and is slowly recuperating).
My 2 days with them went by
too quick. In the evening the commune performed a cultural dance for me on the
roof with the participants drumming hard with red flags crisscrossing in their
group dance.
Three young womyn in their
early 20s had come to their Wenlido workshops last year and decided to join the
commune there after. Their parents are poor and are relieved to let go of their
‘burden girls’ (who would need dowry money to be married off). These young
womyn are committed and grateful to be there, it was obvious. I enjoy being
included in the closeness and physical affection of this group of womyn. All of
us sleep on the cement floor with bamboo mats in one room, and the men the
same- like sardines- in another room. Late in the evening an older neighbour
woman, who was alone and scared, joined us naturally in the last little spare
corner of our room. Everyone is up with me at
Two days and nights later I
arrive in
We had 18 participants. P.
and I doing great team work (English/Gujarati). The days were very long (17/18
hours mostly) but we hung in there .... Their enthusiasm and affection
certainly re-charged my batteries on those long, long days of group work. The
students had so much to learn. First the regular Wenlido program, taking notes,
integrating, and learning to teach it to our group there.
Then, of course the purpose
for this TOT ... the very creative aspect of developing a whole new program for
the pre-adolescents. It will be a continued learning process, as they teach it
and learn from our young sisters what their needs are exactly to help them move
forward in a safer more empowered way (child sexual abuse is on a scary incline
since the last two years particularly in this state).
I am very excited and
hopeful to have created a meaningful system for those young, vulnerable girls
to explore themselves as worthy human beings with rights to be safe and
respected. (Tonight Phase Three is starting in
I appreciate P.
tremendously for putting so much energy and efforts into making this happen for
her movement (child rights). We have been working extremely well together.
Supporting each other as we teach, struggling with taking and giving space
beautifully … and having long talks and debriefings well into the night.
Now off to
The first day (and evening
prior) was spent checking in, doing advanced Wenlido, freshening up of
communication skills and of course preparing for the first time for them to
teach a workshop. The first ‘3-day Wenlido Basic’ was taught primarily to NGO
(non government organization) workers. There are 14 participants and 7
'trainers'. After the initial adjusting the teamwork of the training group
became remarkable on the second day. Feedback and preparing went often until 10
in the evening. The participants left empowered and energized with lots of
positive feedback.
Myself I found it difficult
not to mix as much with the group as I would have liked. Knowing though that to
be of best support, D. and I needed to sit outside and take the notes for the
required feedback .
Then we held the second (20
hour) Wenlido Basic program with 18 participants, a young group with girls from
10 years to 21 and one adult woman. Very different challenges that were well
met by the group. The participants were smart and eager to learn. We all
realized the big difference of experience and grasping capabilities of the
adolescent and pre-adolescent participants. That brought awareness to how we
are all eager to explore the new 'pre-adolescent program' we have been
developing in
Everyone enjoyed and the
participants are eager to come to the proposed monthly 'Wenlido support groups'
in
On Feb 2nd after the
teaching and feedback was done, we had a fire outside (with our broken boards!
) in celebration of ‘completion of TOT ... as well as A.’s 30th birthday!! The
evening was filled with singing, dancing and telling stories and many, many
belly laughs....
The next day D. was
teaching the advanced Wenlido techniques, then games, and deepening of
communication skills.
A lovely portion of the
last day was spent with handing over of Wenlido Malas (tiger eye necklaces I
make for all apprentices), and the white ribbon certificates. We welcome 5 new
womyn into our Wenlido circle as apprentices. We also appreciate D. for the
continued effort and development of the advanced Wenlido techniques and
concepts with a brown ribbon. This qualifies her to be teaching continued
(advanced) Wenlido to apprentices and trainers. D. has been assisting me in the
work as well as in the translation for many of the trainings this year. It has
been great working with her. Also all the extra time she has been taking out
when I was in
The following day most
stayed on, while we did a bit more NVC Dance floor work and then watched and
discussed the film I brought 'what the bleep do we (k)now' , celebrating with
good food and ice cream!
Oh yes … on it goes. 3 days
in
I supported D. and D. in
Now off to the last Phase Three
with the
Did I mention how happy I
am now being fully healthy, after having gone thru one food poisoning episode, three
colds/coughs in a row, and head lice! Life is good, and I feel satisfied and
inspired as more Wenlido apprentices and certified, independent instructors are
on the ‘herizon’ to meet the needs of increasing womyn's safety for more
communities!
There are three womyn
presently considering doing Wenlido freelance and full time!!
There were some concerns as
S. our most senior instructor in
Everyone is looking forward
to our five day National Wenlido Gathering in March.
Much love and support to
all of you! Look forward to hearing from anyone, inspired to just connect or
ask for clarifications!
Gitta
From the land of the free
cows