I hope all of you are well. The threat of war between India and Pakistan seems to have somewhat diminished, or so I hope to read into the news. It is election time in 3 of the major states and war talk seems to improve the popularity of parties in power. But having the big US in South Asia at this point seems to be not so bad for this tender situation.
Since my arrival I have taught to over 200 women by now. More and more I realize the depth of oppression women face. They are so immense grateful to talk about their issues. For many it is the very first time to discuss: sex, rape, domestic violence, having the right not to be hurt and hit, that honoring our own bodies could have priority over 'having respect' for uncle, father or husband. These are brand new concepts!
Early January I conducted the workshop for Delhi activists in the Gandhi Museum. They had to call it a theatre workshop, because even though Gandhi was for women's rights, they thought self-defense might be against Gandhian Philosophy. The space was great and inexpensive and the group refreshingly small (17).
My faithful assistant and translator D. came with me on the 9 hour train ride to Lucknow. We were warmly received by Dr N., who is the director for a department at the university. She is an unimaginable powerhouse of a woman totally dedicated to changing women's roles of victimization in the Indian society. She herself has been through much personally as well as being attacked by a band of 20 robbers. She was very courageous and lucky and got away with broken nose and broken arms, her husband with broken skull. Not so lucky were 9 families in her neighborhood where they counted the dead. The attackers were never brought to 'justice'. She started an NGO (non government organization), 'Uttsah' which operates the only crisis/help line in Lucknow (2 Million People) and employs one women who works with dalith (untouchable) women in the slums.
N. has had training and carries a licensed gun. She has carved herself out a powerful position, determined to keep women from being killed. This community is known for many dowry deaths.
Lucknow has a small town mentality. It has a large Muslim community and the government here is very right wing, orthodox Hindu. A receipy for violence and I see more than enough of armed policemen.
LU has 12 colleges, 3 Muslim, 2 Christian and rest Hindu. These campuses are hell for the young women.
N. has organized various women's empowerment courses (theory), martial arts, knife/baton wielding programs, etc. She was very keen on our more practical 2 day program more specific to women.
The first (of 3) workshops was extremely difficult for me. I got to start 2 hours late because of a lengthy inauguration by the dean of the university. He was great and supportive in his speech, but I am just not much for these formalities. We had 27 participants (students and teachers of LU) and 15 (!) journalists plus their photographers!!! And the TV station! All of them wanting action shots of course and me denying them, became quite unnerving. (am quite concerned for the safety of the students) Never in my life have I experienced anything like it! Some of them became like boys having temper tantrums, when they would get catapulted back out of the class room over and over again. By mid day I was quite rude and was surprised the reports were not as bad as feared. They did have to please Madam N. in the end....
I was on National News Broadcast from 2:30 pm until 11pm every half hour with a 2 minute interview. In English and in Hindi. Some of the Newspaper headlines: Beware, LU girls learning unarmed combat! and Wenlido starts here! and Let your adrenalin do the talking, girls! (written by the only female journalist) and Watch out Roadside Romeos!
Out of control was this media mania! The next day Madam N. received 300 phone calls.
A NOT UNCOMMON EVENT IN INDIAN EVERY DAY LIFE I HAPPENED TO BE A WITNESS OF...
At the end of this workshop, D. and I are totally wiped out and sitting on the steps in front of the university building with Madam N. A lower cast woman walks by and is greeted by N. as she is her former servant. A disturbing verbal exchange ensues. As it is translated to me, I understand that the mother is on the way to the police station. Reason being that a group of 10 men and a woman are trying to kidnap her 16 year old daughter. She has locked her in and is looking for help. I see N. make a call and off we all go with the very upset mom to slum / village like area right next to the university building where the servants live. I slowly understand that the 16 year old girl has been charmed by a 30 year old boy. Mother (widow) had fight with girl over it and yelled at her:' then go off and see what it would be like!!' in a fit of despair. In no time these 10 men and woman from prostitution ring were there to pick her up. But her charmer not in sight.
N. goes in room and talks with girl, while D. and I guard it of about 60 onlookers (very typical in India). Mother talking to us crying.
Then some man in western clothes barges into the front room (where we are), demands to go past us with alcohol on his breath. I don't have a clue who he is, but am very determined to block his way in unison with D.. Reluctantly he backs off. He stands outside talking to the village folks, slaps a woman who is speaking up and says: "I have been chief of police since 3 years and I am like a mafia don, which means I can do anything I want with any of you." Everyone hushes, except D. who is about to jump out of her skin, telling him he is drunk and that he has no right to hit that woman, no matter who he is. Who are they, he yells pointing at us? One girl saying: "Haven't you read the papers? They teach women's self-defense!" Right then N. comes out hushing D., whispering in her ear: "the woman is part of the prostitution gang, just keep quiet, I will explain later!"
Then Madam N. loudly puts people in their place, demands woman and others to lay off and disperse.
The next day was a well deserved day off. D. and I went touring the town. Instead of accepting N.'s driver for the day, we decided to take a bicycle Rikshaw and be on our own. We visited the famous Bara Imambara, a tomb of a Shi-ite Muslim holy man built in 1784 as a famine relief project. From there we got a horse drawn carriage for 80 cents to take us 5 km to the so called Residency built in 1800 for the British. This is where the 'Indian Uprising for Independence started in 1857. 2000 British women, children and men were killed here in a siege. The shattered walls are still scared by cannon shot.
I so enjoyed being a tourist with an Indian friend! Being able to talk to rickshaw drivers, beggars, shop keepers. Certainly we were hassled quite less for my experiences and much more from her perspective.
2 million inhabitants in Lucknow, no highrises. It is considered small town. Many bikes, horse drawns, oxcarts, some working elephants.
2nd workshop was a breeze with 20 students. One participant was a dowry violence survivor. Her mother-in-law set her on fire. Only her face was spared.
Monkeys came to the windows trying to get in for our lunch. They were quite aggressive but fun to watch (as long as they were on the other side of the window!).
After this I was sad to see my assistant leave. She had to go back to Delhi early. And wouldn't you know it the next workshop 32 women showed up. I didn't have the know how to tell 12 of them to leave... They came with so much expectations and very serious, safety issues for some of them. The men on the campus kept trying to sneak a look inside of our room, grinning ... This campus would make me into a terrorist or into a Madam N. ....
One woman in the group is determined to get out of her violent home situation. She makes me correct her intently and watches as I correct others. She feels so determined ... to defend? to kill? I wish I could speak Hindi, translation sure takes something out of a discussion. I miss 'my' assistant. In the group we talked much on domestic violence which seemed to be major problem for most adult women present. The younger women talking of what they have to do to prepare for such an eventuality when their time comes of arranged marriage to a man they have never set eyes on. I cannot even imagine.
One young woman told the story of her girlfriend. A boy fell in love with her. Her parents wanted to go ahead with prior arranged marriage. Boy 'in love' got mad and threw acid in girlfriends face..... What to do, they asked me?
Now I am in Allahabad. Arrived last night. Wonderful women received me. Today I took a boat ride on the Ganges and dangled my feet in the holy waters! Then after that the women had a sort of conference/ workshops with village (uneducated women). What a sight to see 50 women in their village type bright saris speaking up about their problems of being hit and hurt and watching their daughters being abused. Then they had plays on rape. Village women singing songs on raising the flags of women ... be they black, brown, yellow or white ... Hindi, Muslim or Christian, we are all one, united as women ... come home... I cried!
P.'s cook is a very self confident looking 19 year old, telling of the tiring ceremonies of boy's parents coming to check her out. She has to get all dressed up and serve them tea and sweets. Then his father decides. She finds it humiliating and dramatic. First she was glad went they decided against her. Now she just hates the drama of it. She and her folks consider not having a choice in the matter.
Monday night I take train south to Madras and see my friends in Auroville for six days. Then I teach in Bangalore (with activist women, eunuchs and transsexuals (!)), Baroda (Sujanal). Then instructor training is planned for February 20th.
Travelling on the trains by myself will be more challenging, guarding my luggage and all. What do I do when I have to pee??? Guess I hope to make friends ...
My Hindi is coming along slow. I certainly understand more. Can tell when my translator adds things! Not bad. It is a very difficult language!
Guess you are not struggling with mosquitoes these days or aggressive bulls and cows on the sidewalks. Almost got 'horned' yesterday. Scary!
In sisterhood from India
Gitta
taught by
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Women Educating in Self-defense Training (WEST).