Second Notes From India (4^th Year)

December, 2005

Greetings from Delhi to everyone!!

[The capital of female foeticide, more info http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/grhf/SAsia/suchana/0326/kaur.html.]

Today's Delhi newspaper tells of a woman corpse found with no name. She was raped and strangled with her dupatta (shawl) last night... There is also is mention of one woman burned by her husband and one committing suicide by fire yesterday....]

The nights are freezing as there is a cold front from Kashmir! I know many of you have to handle snow now, but don’t forget you have a heating system! And coats!

As I am sitting in this tiny cyber cafe, 6 blind men dressed in orange just walked by, chanting beautifully. A lot of noise in this colorful little market place, and cows walking down the alley ways, with such confidence of 'belonging'.

Life is extremely busy. The NVC (nonviolent communication) training outside of Bombay with Bridget Belgrave from UK was very inspiring. Besides feeling more grounded in a compassionate consciousness, I also got inspired with different styles of group facilitation.

Immediately after, I went to Bombay, where I supported a trainer, D., to do 2 consecutive Wenlido basics. Her request for support came out of the need to make sure she is still on a 'safe track' with the program. One was with daughters of so called ‘rag pickers’ (those who work/live right in the garbage under horrific conditions). They came with 2 chaperones (older womyn), as they consider it unsafe so send their girls off alone. They were residential workshops, and in the evening I was dragged from my bed for dancing. Lots of energy and fun those gals had!

A meeting in Bombay with Akshara, an organization (NGO) working on violence against womyn, proved to be more or less successful, as there was a huge spontaneous demonstration that evening bringing attention to a rape case where a policeman was implicated. It was acknowledged Bombay needs at least 2 full time Wenlido instructors, but there may not be enough time to find prospects before the TOT (training of trainers).

A short 3 day visit with my (82 year old) friend Nishtatai in Pune (Maharashtra) was a wonderful break. Being an author of French origin she has lived a full life of service in India since 40 years. She broke her hip and now lives in a very supportive senior housing complex. I never heard of that in India (custom of extended families living together), but many folks there have their children live now in US and Europe and all I met seemed content in this set-up. Nishtatai received an equivalent of a Nobel Peace Price from France and a documentary is being made of her now in French.

Early November now. Diwali time, as I reach my friends S., her sister, son (whose birth I witnessed in 02), brother-in-law and brother. All of them were at the NVC training, and we cherished connecting again. I am happy to still manage to sleep on the cement floor without mattress. Unfortunately though I got very sick from unboiled water in a rice dish and hid for 7 days in a dark room. Being light and noise sensitive at Diwali holiday time, what a challenge with lots of visitors and endless firecrackers… I sure appreciated to be in good caring hands of friends though. S. (being the most senior trainer) and I had also many things to talk about and plan for the upcoming trainings.

I was sad to have to cancel a scheduled apprentice support in Tamil Nadu, for J. and G.. Later realized that with the present monsoon floods there is a lot of disease (dengue fever, cholera) in that region. I was probably better off with food poisoning…

My train to Delhi is 9 hours delayed (coming from the flood affected south).

I stay with a Wenlido trainer, D., in Delhi, loving her peaceful flat. A little rest interspersed with a few meetings is a welcome change.

Now off to Rajasthan (Jaipur) where the 1st phase of the Hindi instructor training is planned. I meet with 4 apprentices 2 days early (without a translator!) It is nice to reconnect and we handle the communication difficulties with more or less ease. The more we appreciated D. and S. (senior trainers, English speaking), when they joined us.

I am told I lost weight and don’t look so good. ... I felt a little set back at this…and needed to tell them I am 50 now and perhaps my physique is changing. They on the other hand have not changed at all in the 2 years as they are mainly in their 20s, and 30s. :-)

They share with me how Wenlido has affected their lives. They share how it has given them more strength to stand up for themselves in their organizations and families.

I have a lot of respect for M. (48) . She is a village activist in a backward area of Rajasthan. The womyn in her village (many of whom still veil their faces) honor her and she struggles to hold her ground with the men in her organization. She is appreciating Wenlido for her courage and strength. Really not an easy feat as she relays her situation to me!

18 new womyn show up for this 'phase one' instructor training. S. is well grounded and skilled in the NVC (nonviolent communication skills) portion of the program, as she has been developing herself with these tools in the last year. It sets a solid foundation and awareness in communicating with honesty (heart) in the present. More de-escalation strategies (in aggressive situations) emerge, and our discussions are more to the point, effective and productive. NVC tools facilitate awareness in the present. In the present with what is going on the group as well as paying attention to ones own inner space (feeling/needs) while doing group work. S. has integrated these concepts and is teaching them in a very practical, experiential manner. The womyn were extremely appreciative and excited about this aspect of exploring undoing their own internalized domination mindset.

I enjoy doing the advanced Wenlido portion of the program and D. is doing an excellent job helping me with my ‘handicap’ (not speaking Hindi) and doing an amazing job in unobtrusive translation.

On the day I leave to go to Gujarat I get the sad news of a young (13 year old) friend of mine, Kimay, dying in a road accident she was in, with her mother in Tamil Nadu. Everything went array that night! I find out I have a train ticket with being number 90 on the waiting list for a seat! In the middle of the night I decide to find a bus, which eventually gets me to my destination 14 hours later.

Now in Ahmadabad, within hours starts a Basic Wenlido that P. and N. are teaching and I am supporting. P. is teaching 8 basics in different districts of Gujarat in preparation for the up-coming instructor training. These womyn are sent by their organizations. This way womyn are pre-selected for instructor training, and the chances of them continuing with us are much greater. P. works with adolescent girls and is very determined to get at least 15 instructors out of this training who will be teaching young girls and womyn. Her hopes lie in curbing the unfathomable increase on girl sexual abuse in the last 2 years here.

I am lucky to have a lovely Indo-American woman from Chicago translating for me. She is in India with an organization for a year, re-connecting with her roots. I was thrilled to be listening to English with ‘no effort’, realizing how different Indian English is from ours.

Now am back in Delhi, attending meetings and valuing a bit of free time. It is the time of so called '16 days of activism'. Many different NGOs in different parts of the city (Delhi, Mumbai, Chennai, Calcutta) do events with the intention of bringing attention to the issues around 'violence against womyn'. Rallies, discussions, films, meetings, street theatre....you name it!

Friday I am off to Bhopal for the phase 2 of the instructor training in Hindi with D. and S.. On December 27th (into the New Year), I will be doing the phase 1 of the Gujarati training for the young womyn.

This morning I woke up with a cold. sigh...

I am hopeful that my return to India is serving the purpose of strengthening this young Wenlido organization. The demand for the basic program is immense, that is far from being fulfilled.

Wenlido has a name now in many circles that are working on solutions regarding violence against womyn. Many articles have been written and approximately 2800 womyn have gone thru the basic program in just over 4 years. We get requests from colleges, universities, slum organizations, NGO's (non government organizations), women's development cells and various womyn's associations in cities and villages.

The growth of the Wenlido Network with capable instructors is slow ...though steady. Perhaps this is the best way to lay a solid enough foundation that can last and deal with the never ending challenges... to make our societies a safe place for womyn and girls to not just survive and be, but thrive!

I look forward to hearing back from you!

in womyn's strength and courage....acting locally, visioning globally!

Gitta