The Instructor training in Rishikesh from December 15th to 26th, 2002.
I arrived at the Dayananda Ashram in Rishikesh 3 days prior to the training. I was glad to get a feel for the place early. This gave me time to prepare and tune into the place.
There are mainly men robed in white or orange (defining their status as students or teachers of the Bhagavat Gita) in the ashram, who would not relate to me, as I am not a devotee. I did appreciate having time to myself this way. One American woman lives here who is a student of the Guru Dayanada.
The ashram is right on the banks of the sacred river Ganga. This is in the foothills of the Himalayas not too far from its source, where the waters are still clear. Very different from Allahabad where I visited the river last spring. So I pass my time on a bench overlooking the rushing river, watching people take their sacred dips, and doing rituals on its rocky shores, doing my last preparations. I love hearing the devotional chants all day and night from different directions. A little ways upstream is a ‘burning place’, with stacks of wood neatly piled. It is of great honor to die and be burned by the most sacred of all rivers.
Where I would see the people of the ashram was at meal time. The meals are served out of big containers by chanting men. Rice, Dahl, subji (veggies) and buttermilk. Everyone would sit along the edge of the big dining hall on the marble floors. All of us sitting over our steel plates mostly in silence. Chapattis with the veggies…, then mixing the rice with the Dahl, massaging it, feeling its texture with my right hand. Cupping my fingers and placing it in my mouth. I love it. It is such an enjoyable ritual to me, something so unthinkable in my upbringing. It connects me with my human animal in a loving and even sensuous way. This is how humans must have been eating since thousands of years on the planet. Sometimes I catch glances of the men watching me...what and how does she eat? Where is she from? What is she doing here? Obviously(am not dressed that way) not a student of the Bhavaghat Gita. I feel tolerated in an ok way.
The women arrive later than I expected. Don't I know by now…, I muse. Mid day of Day 1, many have arrived but not all. I do the 'in-takes' individually, but of course I need a translator with most. The in-take is long, with many questions. Some like being asked about personal things, some are uncomfortable around the intent. Once that is clarified, everyone is ok.
We have 2 women from Kolkata, 2 from Lucknow and more from that region, one from the mountains in Uttranchal, from Bihar, from Delhi, Gujarat and Maharashtra. All are affiliated with various NGO's, some came by choice some were sent. One woman came with her 2 sarees, as it was unimaginable wearing anything else as a married woman in her region. Most of the other ones only brought their traditional punjabi suits. Eventually it became acceptable to them to tuck the front of the long tunic like top into the pants, for working on the kicks and various other moves.
We were quite the group. 15 women from highest to lowest Hindu caste and Muslim. From light to the deepest shade of dark in complexion. City, village and mountain women. From spiritual to religious to in reaction to Hinduism. Ages range from 22 to 45. Two women were married as children (at 7). Trust was not a given, even though all are social workers working on issues of violence against women. Most women were not used to any physical exercise. The woman from the mountains was one who prided herself in carrying more than 6 gallons of water on her head and walking for miles with it. The physical aspect of the training certainly was most challenging. Many are used to running discussions in gender awareness trainings (bringing awareness to our conditioning as females in a patriarchal social system). But even within that some of my concepts were new to integrate. (mostly around the different aspects of internalized victimization)
We discussed the social system that we know (patriarchy), where we are (collective damage on the female psyche) and where we want to go (creating new images). We made a collective agreement to recognize internalized power structures and experimenting with alternatives in the way we are with each other. Consciously creating new strategies of handling differences as they came up (caste being one of them!) with the help of feedback training. Not that we succeeded in undoing the power structures, but certainly awareness was brought to those behavior patterns. Some brave souls attempted some difficult feedback constructively. In this society a hurdle that is by no means any easier than in the western culture.
We worked an average of 15 hours a day. How we did it, I do not know!?!
On day 7, we took the afternoon off for an outing. We inquired about a nature walk. So off we went 15 of us piling into an auto rikshaw meant for 8. We walked across a hanging bridge and took another jeep for 10 km on a very bad road again with all 15 of us in the one vehicle! Parting was out of question! From there we hiked up into the mountains. We came by some women carrying huge loads of wood stacked on their heads, while herding their goats. K., our mountain woman stopped to talk to them. Someone else gave me a translation and how I appreciated being able to connect at least like this! Unexpectedly we ended up at a temple dedicated to the warrioress Goddess Durga and Kali. Dhurga rides a Tiger and slayed the demons who endangered the heavens. How most appropriate she called us to her!!
It was dark by the time we reached back to the ashram, we all seemed exhausted and exhilarated by the long hike.
Day 10 and 11 of the program the village women and girls were invited to be taught by the 'new instructors in training'. So many wanted to attend that there were conflicts about turning some down. Very difficult situation. It just showed us how much the women are looking for answers to their problems now! One mother of 2 teens came to check us out. After all this was a Hindu ashram and they are Muslims. Is it safe??? I talked with her thru a translator and she trusted us. How courageous of her!
The first day proved to be very tough. Our own feedback session afterwards was very emotional and went until midnight! 7 teams teaching, staying present when they were not ON, nervousness, mistakes, recoveries...all very challenging.
Much to our relief the second day went a lot smoother. One girl in the local school had been raped and killed and the discussion around that was excellent! One 12 year old participant has been used sexually by a local swami (spiritual teacher) for years. Her parents receive gifts of money and goods.
The closing round was very moving. L. the singer and song writer of our group brought out the tablas and all 30 of us danced and laughed to exhaustion. The village girls and women were so appreciative and thankful to have addressed some of their local issues and to learn new tools to problem solve the different levels of confrontations they are faced with.
After the village women left, the first tears started flowing. There has been so much trust built, such a sense of safety and love, some of them said, they had never experienced before... We had planned on partying, but the mood for singing just wasn't there. Then our last day. Closing round, games, lots of affection, tears and the individual time with me ('take-outs').
Some women are faced with serious risks doing this work in their regions. Discussions emerge around safety nets. Deep connections as well as loss are felt as 9 (only!) pile into one taxi for the train station.
I pray that their re-entering into home reality will be smooth and safe.
One participant, S., stays back for a couple of days and I am thankful for that. We go for long walks and even go on an adventure, rafting down the sacred Ganga thru 9 rapids. We are fully wet and teeth chattering... Well worth it though. Blessings of Mother Ganga. May her sacred waters assist in washing away some of her daughters pains..
January 2nd to 7th was the Asian Social Forum in Hyderabad (23 hour train ride south of Delhi). I join the Women from Jagori in Delhi and we all go down together. One basic Wenlido workshop is planned there for the youth camp. D. is planning to teach it with my assistance. The ASF is to bring all Asians together on the subject of Anti Globalization Issues and Global Peace. We find an estimated 20 000 people there from India, Nepal, Sri Lanka, a delegation from Iraq, from Afghanistan, from Palestine. There are huge forums, stalls with books and information. I attend only 2 forums: on Peace and Security and the Women’s Forum. Both are packed with about 1000 people. The facts and testimonies are disturbing and I cry thru much of it (do I ‘blame’ menopause?). The nuclear threat is all too obvious and not just in this region. US has been setting policies that are now being tested in the crisis with Iraq. At the women’s forum, the testimonies from Afghanistan, Pakistan, Palestine, India…I have no words…my heart goes out to all of them.
There are film screenings of activists, of feminists. I could write a lot about it all, and perhaps will at another occasion and/or if you want more details.
The slogan of the forum is: “Another World is possible!… Possible, possible!!” Yes, take it in…
Now I am in Gujarat. Getting ready for the 2nd Instructor training. Making a few adjustments, hoping to make it even more effective than the last. I look forward to being in the country again, this time in a small low key retreat centre run by a well respected elderly couple in a tribal area in South Gujarat.
Today is a holiday here. An old Indian tradition. Kite flying day. Lots of colorful, many homemade kites up and flying. People on top of their houses, in the fields, everywhere. Kites stuck in trees, in telephone wires...fun festival I'd say!!!
Take in a good, deep, clean breath of air for me!
In sisterhood and strength
Gitta